Does size really matter?

When you day dream about your wedding, you probably haven't thought about the numbers much.  You may have thought big vs. small, but what does that really mean? As you begin your wedding planning, you'll find that your guest count is one of the few questions every vendor will ask.  So does it really matter?

When looking for a venue, you'll soon learn that a guest list of more than 150 puts you into the "Big Wedding" category.  Many venues max out at 150, and a few will let you inch up with an additional per person fee. So if you know you'll be over that number, even up to 500 + your venue choices become very limited.

What about a smaller wedding? One common thought is that because a couple is only having 60 guests or so, their wedding won't cost very much.  Yes, you'll have less people to feed, and go through less alcohol (probably), but you will still have all the same elements... a photographer, an officiator, some music, a dress, rings - and none of those things are based on how many guests you invite (or how many actually show up). So set your budget before you think of an "A-list" and "B-list," and then plan your details & guest list around that.

Celebrating Dad, even on your Big Day!

Today is Father's day. So let me share some thoughts on how your Dad can be a part of your big day.

It used to be that the Bride's family (Dad) paid for the wedding. Remember the film Father of the Bride with Steve Martin (you know that's the remake and the original was with Spencer Tracy acting as Elizabeth Taylor's dad - yes a really long time ago, but still holds up today!)?Well today, with so many couples paying for their own wedding, some Dad's don't always feel that they have a role, or aren't sure how they can help.  But some of the sweetest moments at the wedding are when Dad's around.

Whether you have 1, 2 or a 'father representative,' there are many ways to include him in your wedding. Lets list out a couple for you to consider.

Planning: around, or not, as you grew up, some Dad's will help out with some of the expenses. If he is willing to pay for a certain item (or the whole shebang!) Its helpful ask what the budget is. Even if it feels awkward, go for it! Better a little awkward now, than later when you're expecting him a to cover a $8k bar tab when he was thinking it would be more like $500.

Ceremony: Most Brides & their Dads have imagined walking down the aisle together as he 'gives her away.' More common now, and according to some cultures & religions, both parents have that honor.  But unless deceased, or not on great terms, Dad is usually the main guy for that job. Also, did you know, that the Bride's father will walk in on whichever side puts him in between the bride & groom? So in a non-denominational or Christian ceremony the FOB (father of the Bride) is to the Bride's right. While in Jewish ceremonies he is on the Bride's left. The idea is that the FOB is the last protector of the bride,  even from her Groom - until he hands that job over to her him. In some ceremonies, the FOB is even asked "Who gives this woman to be married/ or to this man"... lots of ways to answer this one!

Toasts: the FOB can often be the one to give a welcome toast at the beginning of the reception or the dinner. Its traditional for the hosts to do this, and/or give the final toast. But todays couples may still give the honor to her Dad even if the couple is paying for it all on their own..... FOG (father of the groom) will often host the Rehearsal dinner, and so will say his toast the night before.

My two favorite moments in any wedding are 1)watching the bride walk down the aisle as Dad places her hand in the grooms, and 2) the FOB's toast. When done right, he will give us a glimpse into her childhood, tell us when he knew this was her guy, and wish them the best while holding back a tear. Cue the hankies!

FDD: Father - Daughter Dance! You see all sorts of routines choreographed and rehearsed, being done these days. They're so fun! But a sweet, sincere dance to a song that means something to the Bride & her Daddy just can't be beat.

So call him, email him, whatever you do, find a way to include him that leaves you both feeling great about your Dream Wedding Day! The memories will be priceless!!

Starting your marriage off just right!

Sunday. Its the day after most weddings, and its a great day to just sit back and think about the amazing day you've just had. Though you may not give it too much thought, the day after Your Big Day can use a bit of planning.

By just thinking about a few things in advance, on your wedding day, and even more on the day after,  you'll be able to relax (and sleep in!) the first day of your married life.  So consider a few things such as:

• does anything need to be returned? Who can do it for you? Brides & Grooms shouldn't need to be running errands, right after their wedding day. But some things you may have agreed to returning to your wedding vendors could be the following:

1. florist vases, containers, rentals items

2. Cake plates, baker's platters, & items

3. Groom's men suits

• if you're able to leave some items at the wedding site overnight, what time do you (or someone else) need to pick them up the next morning? Sometimes it might just be better to have an aunt/uncle, cousin, or sibling stay after the wedding a little bit to load up rather than going back early the next day. Some items you'll need to have packed up for you:

1. any left over alcohol if you brought it in

2. gifts & gift envelopes

3. all décor that you brought (engagement photo, guest book, card box, left over favors, etc,)

4. if you changed on site - the clothes you came it (can't tell you how often there are shoes left under a bed!)

• What to do with the leftovers?

1. booze - At a wine country wedding, you're bound to have served some amazing wines. So why not throw another party (brunch or lunch), or hand out a bottle to the hard working servers who made sure your guests were taken care of.

2. items you purchased just for the wedding like a cake plate, easel- consider donating them to the site or better yet your planner (I have many items that have been left to me that we loan out to other brides. So before you buy it, ask if we have it)

3. Flowers - (this is my favorite) After you've told everyone that you'd like to gift an arrangement to (like your mom's neighbor who threw you a wonderful shower), or if everyone has traveled, there may still be one, two or 10 centerpieces left. These will last for days, and sometimes weeks if it wasn't too hot. So one thing I like to do, like I did today, is to donate them on behalf of the couple to convalescent homes, assisted living facilities, shelters, and if there are still some left over - i'll take them to some of the local schools for the secretaries who need to be in the office all alone during the summer.  *My daughter, a girl scout, loves to take the centerpieces and reconstruct them into mini arrangements in plastic cups. From 1 centerpiece, we can often get 3-5 mini arrangements to deliver to Senior Citizens. It really brightens their day, and lasts up to 2 weeks! And although its hours of work for us, and we pay for the cups, clippers, etc. out of my own pocket, the smiles it brings is all worth it!

So take a moment to plan for the next day, and you'll be starting your marriage off just right!

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is a time when family does its best to get together. We travel near and far to make it home.  And for many of us, its only for a day. Some of us are able to make it last a whole weekend. Either way,  we celebrate being together.  A wedding is just like that!

This time of year is when many couples will be getting engaged. CONGRATULATIONS to you!! What a wonderful time to celebrate. So rather than feel overwhelmed, just enjoy all the love and well-wishes coming your way.

When planning, I like to think of weddings just like Thanksgiving. We invite family and friends to come join us and help us celebrate for a day, or maybe a weekend.  And they do! They come from all over the world to be with us, and we can feel the love.

Like Thanksgiving, we spend time thinking of the meal, the drink, and who will sit where. Are we going to play games? Are we going to have music? And whats for dessert? Don't forget to think about getting that family photo too.

So when you're on the planning path, make sure every so often to step back and give thanks for those in your life. You'll soon be surrounded by loved ones, no matter if you've planned a 5 course meal, or a pot luck picnic. Your family will be there for you because they love you, and you'll feel grateful that you were able to include them in such an amazing moment in your life.